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The Things I Remember, by J Bob

by J Bob

I remember all the way back to my mom’s belly. It was a difficult birth ā€“ a very long labor. I was a ten pound baby, with a head like a bowling ball. I was a cute and very handsome preschooler. I was a very accident-prone kid. I got in my first accident when I ran my mini-bike into the side of my grandma’s house. I cut my leg open so bad, I had to get 73 stitches. I almost cut my leg off! I am very proud of that scar. When I was seven, I moved to Maryland. I used to get beat up all the time, because I didn’t fit in. I was different from them. I was not such a good student. I used to flunk all my tests. I used to have a very mean Doberman, who bit the left side of my jaw. I still have the scar. Then, my family moved to a new house in another school district. I started lifting weights when I was only ten. I benched 410 lbs when I was just a senior. I broke all the high school records for the whole county. I was very popular in high school. I had a good looking girlfriend. She was a very good thief. She used to steal me my outfits for the first day of school and for whenever I had to go out. My advice is to be careful about what you do and who you are friends with!

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